Celebrating our Dad

 

As many of you know, my Dad passed away December 22.  Amy and I have been talking that we needed to update both of our blogs, but agreed, that the first post should be a tribute to our Dad.  Amy updated her blog last night.  She put our feelings into words so beautifully that I decided to just share with you what she posted on her blog.  At the end of her post, I have added some videos of Dad.  We will cherish all the sweet memories we have of him everyday.  I was blessed to call him Dad for 28 years.  He truly was the greatest Dad we could ask for.

Celebrating My Dad ~ Amy Cristina

I know that my posts are usually all things Aubrey and after a six week hiatus, it will still be a little while before she makes her debut again.  This post is all about my sweet, precious, amazing father, Capt. Richard Holley, who passed away on Thursday, December 22, 2011 at the age of 64.  

The last nearly ten years of Dad's life have been filled with one medical obstacle after another: intestinal blockage, triple bypass surgery, complications with diabetes-including the amputation of toes, and ultimately, his diagnosis of advanced liver cancer on May 28, 2011.  Despite all these setbacks, my Dad never once wavered in his faith in the Lord and prayed without ceasing until the very end.  

There's so much about him I miss--his bright smile, beautiful blue eyes, loving hugs, rambling voicemails, encouraging words, contagious laugh, crazy stories--just to name a few.  But when those waves of sadness hit me, I give into them for a moment and then am reminded that I've only said goodbye to him for just a little while because of our shared faith in Christ, we'll one day be reunited forever in our eternal home.  

I'm not going to lie, I think my Dad was pretty awesome--as a son, brother, husband, uncle, father, grandfather, friend, boat captain, magician, Sunday School teacher, comedian, and story teller--and any other hat he wore.  He was the eternal optimist and had this uncanny ability to make friends with nearly everyone he met.  He was never ashamed to tell you about the things he was passionate about, namely, Jesus Christ and conservative politics.  He loved the Lord, his family, and his country.  

I'm thankful that Paul, Aubrey and I already had a trip planned home for December 10-17 and I got to spend some precious time with him before his death.  In the early morning of Friday, December 16, only hours after our family had gathered together in Mom & Dad's living room to celebrate Christmas, my mom called to tell me that Dad had stumbled and due to his increasing fluid retention, he could no longer bend his legs, making moving and walking a difficult task.  Paul and I left Aubrey at Shane and April's and raced to Mom & Dad's.  When we arrived, we were greeted by a dear family friend and an ambulance.  He was admitted to the hospital and on Saturday we learned that Dad's kidneys were slowly shutting down and that there was some fluid building in his lungs. We made the decision as family to bring Dad home on hospice, but due to his swelling and some bleeding from a few places on his arms, that did not happen until Monday night and Dad came home to a full house--April, Madison, Aubrey and me were all there with Mom to welcome him home. 

    

The two full days we had Dad home are still very much a blur, but our home was filled with love and laughter as friends and family came by to offer their love and support and spend time with him.  While I will always believe Dad knew it was the end, being the strong and courageous (and sometimes very hardheaded) leader of our family, he continued to fight and encourage us until the very end.  I'm so very thankful that Dad was still mentally 100% Dad even when his body was completely broken.  He always knew when someone walked in the door, could call them by name, and was constantly checking on Madison and Aubrey, and as usual, kept us laughing and smiling and trusting in the Lord. He lead our family in prayer on Monday and Tuesday night, still praying for everyone else before he pleaded with the Lord for healing of himself.  On Wednesday night, he was too weak to speak, but he held our hands as we prayed our nightly prayers over him. 

For as long as April and I can remember, we've been told the story from Dad of how my Granny's final words to her father when he died were that she'd love if it he could just let her know he'd made it to Heaven okay and then how on the night before his funeral, she had a very vivid dream in which she heard very specific words that were repeated verbatim later that day by the pastor, a dream which she shared with no one until after his service was over.  When Granny passed away in 2003, Dad was by her bedside, holding her hand in the family Bible as he read Scripture to her.  We knew Granny's heart so while we didn't need any outward confirmation of her eternal fate, I know Dad was praying that the Lord would visibly present Himself as He welcomed Granny Home. While that didn't happen for Dad, it most definitely happened for us and I know that the den at 1104 Carolina Ave was truly holy ground as we witnessed the beginning of Dad's eternal life with his Savior He loved and served so faithfully.  These words, taken from the beautiful and touching eulogy Paul gave at Dad's funeral, describe Dad's homecoming...

In the last night at home before he died, we held what turned into a worship service in the den, and each of his family around him bathed him in prayer--prayer that asked for healing and God's will.  Who but a family of believers can ask the Lord to take their beloved husband and father if it be his will? How does a family get that faith--it has to be taught by a spiritual leader.  It was taught by Richard. Richard passed away at 6:54 a.m. surrounded by his loved ones.  We believe he waited long enough for Madison to awake that morning so that he could hear her words--Hey Baba--one more time.  Just moments after she joined him at his side, Richard opened his eyes, looked upward, lifted his arms off the bed, and spoke the same words four time, each more clearly than the last: Hurry...

Then his breathing slowed to a stop, his heartbeat ceased, and he was gone.

We were fortunate to witness Richard peacefully leaving his earthly body, which was broken by disease, and joining his Savior in Heaven to receive the complete healing for which he prayed.  How could anyone ask for a better ending to their life and testimony? 

We spent Christmas morning looking at old home movies--the Holleys attempt at assemblying an above ground pool, birthday parties and Spring Break trips aboard the A.R. Holley, old magic shows performed by my Dad in area elementary school cafeterias, fishing trips with his high school classmates, and Dad's appearance on a local fishing show in the early 80s.  It wasn't exactly how I imagined spending Aubrey's first Christmas, but it was perfect.  

On Monday, December 26, we held Dad's visitation as the First Presbyterian Church of Lynn Haven, the church where he and Mom have faithfully served for over 30 years.  We were humbled by the number of people who came, standing in the cold rain, as they waited to pay their respects to their friend and my father.  His funeral service was on Tuesday, December 27, and we wanted it to be a celebration of his life and faithful service to the Lord.  We wanted the Gospel Dad cherished and knew so well to be shared and we prayed for the Holy Spirit to do mighty things in the hearts of all in attendance.  

I'll end this post with a few pictures that I could readily find of Dad through the years and with the closing words of his prayer that he prayed in his hospital room, with family and hospital staff gathered round, that once again gives witness to his faith in Christ Jesus:

Heavenly Father, above all, I want your will to be done.  And if it is in your will for me not to beat this cancer, so be it.  It just seems appropriate for me to stand beside you when we welcome Madison into Heaven's gates. 

The early years...that's Dad sporting the sideburns in the white shirt on the far right, at the wheel on one of the Davis Queen Fleet party boats, and rocking me in the nursery while he was probably singing a song that he'd tweaked the words to to make them include "Amy Holley" somewhere in the lyrics!

Mid 2000s...Dad and me dancing at Mark and Rachel Jones' wedding (2003), with April and Dad before her wedding, and Mom and Dad walking down the aisle after April and Shane's wedding (2006). 

2007-2011...Dad really wanted to be Paw Paw, but once Madison started talking, his name was Baba and he loved hearing her say it and relished every minute he got to spend with this sweet girl.  These pictures include the first time he held her in the NICU, an Easter morning tradition of family pictures in front of the church's red doors, and lots of hugs, laughter, and playtime together.  

Will, Ben, and Ella weren't his grandchildren by blood, but he loved them as if they were.  Here's Ben and Ella with Dad, Christmas 2008.

And I couldn't leave out his granddog, Scout.  She loved Dad for a number of reasons, perhaps some of the biggest being that she always got to ride shotgun in the truck, he gave her AMPLE amounts of table food, and that she could sit with him in the recliner, but only when Mimi wasn't around! ; )

These next few pictures are probably the most precious to me.  When Aubrey was two weeks old, Mom and Dad flew out to Dallas to spend a week with us.  It was towards the end of this trip that Dad started not feeling well and was just two weeks before his diagnosis.  In classic Dad style, he changed the words around to a song so he could add Aubrey's name (or something close, in this case, Aubrina) to it.  I'm sure that's what he was doing in the first picture below.  The original song is from the 60s and is called "Corinna Corinna." Around here its called Aubrey's Song and we sing the chorus all the time, I mean, ALL THE TIME.    

These pictures are from June, just after Dad started chemotherapy.  I know I posted the family pictures once before, but thought they were worth including again.  The one with Paul, Dad, and Shane still cracks me up.  I can't remember what the conversation was but love how they're hamming it up for the camera. 

I made another trip home in October and here's a few pictures I took from that visit.

And these are the last pictures I took of Dad, taken exactly one week before his death, as our family celebrated Christmas together.  The last picture is of me opening my most favorite gift for Aubrey, a recordable book of The Very First Christmas read to her by Dad.

I know that blog posts should not typically be this long, but when it comes to my sweet Daddy, I've got a lot to share.  But what can I say, my gift of gab is something I'm so thankful to have inherited from him! 

Dad seeing Aubrey for the first time.

 

Aubrey's first visit to Mimi and Baba's house.

Madison dancing to Baba's piano playing.

Dad singing to Aubrey.

This is our last video chat that we did with Dad. 

2011-12-23

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A lot has happened since my last post.  We had one trip to the Emergency Room, Madison turned four and we celebrated Thanksgiving! 

Yes, that is correct.  We did have to make a trip to the Emergency Room.  About a week after we got home from Birmingham, Madison took an afternoon nap as usual.  Shortly after she woke up I noticed dried blood in her left ear.  I cleaned it up and couldn't figure out why she was having this.  She was showing no signs of having an ear infection.  No fever, not pulling at her ears.  We decided to keep an eye on it and if it got worse, we would go to the doctor.  My only issue was that it was the weekend.

The next morning when she woke up, it was a lot worse.   I called the on-call nurse and she advised us that we should go to the ER.  I cringed when I heard this.  We try so hard to keep Madison healthy and now we were having to take her to the ER!  We called quite a few people on the way there to let them know what was going on and to have them start praying for Madison and our ER visit.  Our prayers were answered because that was the fastest ER trip we have ever had.  We were only there for 30 minutes--  from the time I signed in to the time we walked out!!  We couldn't believe it. 

Madison had an ear infection that caused her ear drum to rupture, causing all the bleeding.  They said that once the ear drum ruptures it relieves the pain.  We are still shocked at how high her pain tolerance is.  It is scary and amazing all at the same time. 

This is a picture of her ear on Saturday.  It was taken from my cell phone so that is why it is blurry.

This is her ear on Sunday. 

I just took her back to the pediatrician this week for her four year well check.  Madison weighed 20 lbs 12 oz!  Her ear drum still has a hole in it but is looking better. 

Madison celebrated her 4th birthday on November 16.  It is still hard to believe that she is 4 years old.  Mom and Dad had planned on coming up to the house to celebrate with her that night but because Dad didn't feel well, we loaded up and went to their house.  Madison loved all of her presents.  This video is the sweetest video of Dad telling Madison a story.  Since Madison was a baby, Dad always tells Madison these kind of stories and she absolutely loves them.  The video is kind of long.  Mom was unloading the dishwasher.  It didn't seem loud at the time but once I watched it back it was.  Sorry about that. 

The next video is of Madison doing one of her favorite things.  She loves to play soccer and we try to play at least once a day.  She has gotten pretty good at kicking the ball in her walker.  I laugh at this video every time I watch it.  She had just started asking for a bottle which she calls a "baba".  When she drinks her "baba" she has to have her pappy (pacifier) and her poons (spoons) right there beside.  If you forget any of the above you can forget about her drinking a baba!

I'll close with this last picture of Madison.  She just got a haircut on Saturday but her hair was out of control!  Literally!!  We could not keep it out of her eyes.  I was cooking dinner one night and she was in her chair in the kitchen playing.  She was getting mad because her hair was in her face but I couldn't leave what I was cooking to go get a bow.  I took my ponytail holder out of my hair and pulled Madison's back.  Madison got very mad with how I styled her hair and didn't mind showing me!  I got this look until I took it down!



Things have been really busy since my last post.  We got to spend 10 days with Amy and Aubrey and had such a great time.  We have also made two trips to Birmingham.  One was for Dad and the second one was for Madison and Dad. 

I will post pictures from Amy and Aubrey's visit very soon.  Since I haven't updated in SO LONG, I wanted to give a quick update on Madison and post a few videos. 
Madison had her six month check up last week in Birmingham.  She saw her genetic, cardiologist, and pulmonary doctors.  I am very happy to report that all three of these appointments went great. 

Her cardiologist has been monitoring some thickness in the aortic valve for two years now and has seen no changes.  He was confident enough to say that he felt comfortable moving Madison to 12 month check ups instead of 6 month.  I however, was not that confident.  My reasoning behind it was because all the other I-Cell children see their cardiologist every 6 months and there is a reason for that.  Even though Madison's heart is looking great, if something does get worse I want to catch it early.  Luckily, the doctor said he would do whatever makes us happy so we are staying with every 6 months.

Madison's pulmonary appointment went well also.  Our pulmonary doctor has been wanting to do a sleep study on Madison for about a year now and Shane and I haven't agreed to it.  She has already had 3 of them.  With the first one, to our surprise, Madison did great.  The second one, not so much.  At the third one, as we arrived at the hospital and got checked in, I decided not to put her through it, so really she has only had 2. 

At the first sleep study it was determined that Madison needed oxygen at night.  She initially started out at half a liter of oxygen but she is now at one liter. We have the pulse ox machine that alerts us if Madison's oxygen levels or her heart rate drop at all.  She doesn't sleep with the pulse ox every night unless she is sick.  The pulmonary doctor is concerned about Madison having high CO2 levels.  She isn't showing any symptoms of having them but he does want to monitor her levels every year which can only be done by a sleep study.  We have agreed to do a sleep study in the spring but it is still early.  I am going to do a lot of research and ask the other parents of I-Cell children and then decide if we need to put Madison through it. 

All of Madison's appointments were on last Wednesday.  Dad had his appointments on Tuesday.  He had a CT scan and blood work done that morning and then we met with the oncologist that afternoon.  We learned that the tumor that extends from his liver into the lungs and heart has shrunk a little.  The bad news is that there are new lesions on the liver.  He was able to get another chemo treatment and will go back in 3 weeks for another treatment and then another CT scan 3 weeks after that.  We are hoping and praying that we receive good news at that appointment. 

I'm sorry that the blog has been put on the back burner here lately.  Our plate has been full.  With Madison and me being in for the winter now, I should be able to post more regularly.  Thank you for checking in on Madison and keeping her and our entire family in your thoughts and prayers. 

I have taken several videos but wanted to get these two on the blog.  Since we aren't able to get Madison out, we have been watching our church services online.  To say that Madison LOVES the music is an understatement.  She dances like crazy when we are watching the music portion of the service.  This video was just too cute not to share.  

The next one is of Madison watching her friends, Reed and Mason, say the Pledge of Allegiance and sing a song at church.  She likes to watch this video ALL THE TIME!  She was so proud of them for the great job that they did.  

Life is going by way too fast.  I can't believe it is almost October!  Madison and I only have a few more weeks until we are in for the winter.  I am finding it so hard to believe that Madison is going to be 4 on November 16!  Four!!!  When did this happen?

There is a lot of mixed emotions every time her birthday comes around.  A parent should never have to think about how many more birthdays they are going to get to share with their child but that is a thought that crosses mine every year.  I just put my faith in the Lord and pray that we have many to share together.

There are a lot of reasons why I haven't posted lately.  The main reason is time.  Madison loves to snuggle.  She sleeps so much better when you are right there beside her holding her hand.  With Madison sleeping with us every night she will not go to sleep until we go to sleep and when we wake up, she is up.  Don't even think about laying her down in the bed and not staying there with her!  She isn't going to have it. 

For the past few months, I normally wake up when Shane leaves to go to work and just stay in the bed with Madison because she will cry if I leave her and she needs the sleep.  It is the same thing when she goes down for her nap.  I will lay down with her and sometimes I will nap with her but a lot of times I spend that time in prayer over Madison.  There are things that need to be done around the house but those "things" with always be there.  I am not going to have this time with Madison forever and I want to cherish every second of it. 

Last Monday, Madison woke up with a high fever and I wasn't feeling great either.  I took her to the doctor and she had an inner ear infection and is cutting her canine teeth.  With Madison's gums being so thick, it is hard and painful for her teeth to come through.  She is doing better with them now since they have broken through the gums.

I went to the doctor on Tuesday because my throat was getting worse.  I had tonsillitis!  I had forgotten how painful that is.  Madison and I were both on antibiotics and spent most of the week laid up in the bed watching episodes of Good Luck Charlie  back to back to back! 

I have a lot to post since I haven't posted in awhile but I didn't want to make the blog too long today.  A lot has been going on in the last six weeks since I posted.  We are excited that Amy and Aubrey have a trip planned and are coming down for 10 days!  I can't tell you how excited we are.  October 11 can't get here fast enough.  I will try to post some more tomorrow but I couldn't not blog without including some videos of Madison.  I will add some pictures as well this week.  Love to you all!

Madison has a new magic trick she would like to show everyone.  She does this trick at every meal.  My favorite part is the "Ta Da!"

The next two are of Madison doing one of her favorite things.  Running up and down the drive way.  I posted two because one of them was too funny not to.  I feel like we live in the country but we really don't.  However, we do hear a lot of gun shots.  Not because it is a dangerous neighborhood but there are people that shoot skeet near us and ducks or something.  Who knows!  This time a year, hearing a gun shot is not out of the ordinary.  Every time Madison hears one she goes, "Boom Boom!"  I just happened to be video taping her when one went off. 

I am a part of a Bunko group and every third Thursday of the month we get together and play.  I am looking forward to the great fellowship and lots of laughter tonight.  With that being said I hope Shane has just as much fun tonight with just him and Madison.  Normally, Madison will take a two hour nap each day but she did not get one in today.  She didn't wake up until 10:30 but I felt like she would at least take a 30 minute nap.  I recorded Madison talking away as she was laying down.  Not only did she talk like this the entire hour I made her rest.  She has talked like this all day!!  I don't know where she gets it from!  (sarcasm)  =)  I just wish I knew what all she was saying because she has got a lot to say these days! 7

Sorry the post is short tonight but I am running behind as usual!!

Well I guess it's true that there is a first time for every thing.  Madison is such a good child and very rarely do I have to get on to her but there are times where she does get in trouble.  I know...hard to believe.  She is still continuing to feed herself and is doing really good with it. 

However, today at lunch was not so good.  She had fed herself some of the fruits and vegetables but was playing with the spoon more than eating.  I took the spoon away and started feeding her myself.  When it got time for her to eat her yogurt she was already mad because I wouldn't let her feed herself because she was playing with the spoon.  I had corrected her several time but she kept doing it so I wasn't going to let her try again. 

I had a spoonful of yogurt getting ready to go into her mouth and Madison got really mad and swatted my hand away causing the yogurt to go every where and I dropped the spoon.  Of course she got in trouble for this and I was telling her that we don't do that and that she wasn't getting any more yogurt.  As I am cleaning up the table I am telling her why we don't do that and I look over at Madison and my heart just broke!  She was sitting in her high chair with her head bowed down and her bottom lip poking out.  She knew she was in trouble.  I kept thinking she was going to cry but she never did.  I had to stay focused on the issue and over look it but I came close to giving in. 

When you all see the video that I am going to post tonight you are going to be mad that I got on to her for that at lunch.  I did not teach Madison good tonight at dinner but her laugh was just to hilarious.  We were eating dinner and as I am putting a piece of food in my mouth and I completely missed my mouth.  Madison was watching me and broke out laughing.  I did it again on purpose just to get another laugh out of her and it was such a hardy laugh that I ran and got the video camera.  Well of course she wouldn't do it with the video camera rolling.  So this is where I am teaching her bad.  I started throwing little pieces of bread up and catching them in my mouth.  Well the video alone will show you how funny Madison thought this was.

Needless to say Madison got over the incident at lunch pretty fast and did great at dinner.  She didn't play with her spoon at least!  Progress!!!  I can not begin to tell you the fun that she and I have everyday.  Our days are filled with fun and laughter but when Madison laughs like this, it just makes all of our troubles and worries go away.