Since Madison arrived to her eternal home, I have had several instances where people just couldn't believe how well Shane and I are doing. I try to take this opportunity to share the word of Jesus with them and tell them the story of that day when Madison passed away, and how merciful Jesus was to us. Sometimes people are completely unphased by it and I just want to shake them and tell them, "Did you hear what I said?! She said she saw Jesus!... four times!" Then I walk away wondering how someone could hear Madison's story and not become a believer.
Today is the 21st, five months since Madison arrived. Even though her death certificate says the 22nd, I will always say the 21st is when she met Jesus.
When Madison was given the Ativan to help make her comfortable, the doctors explained to us that she would go into this deep sleep. Shortly after she had told us that she sees Jesus and told Shane and I that she would see us later, she fell into this deep sleep. She was hooked up to a pulse ox monitor that was telling us what her oxygen level and heart rate were at.
The doctors turned off the machine in the room before hand, so that we could focus on Madison, knowing that the end was drawing near, and not her numbers.
The doctors however, could see the numbers at the nurse's station in the hallway. We were all gathered around Madison and one of her doctors came and asked us if we would like him to lead us in a word of prayer. I knew then that her numbers were low and that we were close.
This was at about 11:45 on Monday night.
Shane and I asked our dear friend, Terry Kirkland, AKA Terwy by Madison, to lead us in word of prayer. We, along with all of Madison's doctors and nurses, laid hands on Madison as Terry prayed. As soon as Terry finished praying, and said Amen, we all truly believe Madison left and was in the arms of Jesus even though her heart was still beating. The warmth of her skin was now cool and her color immediately changed. Her hands, that had always been so contracted and curled up, I could now fully hold and straightened out, without any signs of pain or discomfort. We knew then she was gone.
Her heart didn't stop beating until 30 minutes later but we knew she was already in heaven.
Shane and I get asked quite frequently how we are doing and I feel like both of us always respond with how much peace we have. How can we NOT have peace? We were standing on holy ground that night in Children's Hospital, knowing we were in the presence of Lord, as we helped usher Madison home. We have no doubt that Madison arrived to heaven and was instantly healed. We can confidently say that the grave is not the final destination and that death does not have the final say.
I have contemplated on sharing this picture but feel like I should. It reflects how much peace we truly have.
This picture is the last picture that I had taken with Madison. It was taken about a hour after she passed away. I had just finished bathing her, and Shane and I were about to carry her body downstairs to the morgue. I remember not wanting to let go of her. Her airways had gotten so restricted over the last year, that she was no longer able to lay her head on my shoulder, as she couldn't breath when she tilted her head. It had been 8 months since I was able to hold her like this. It felt so normal. I remember my friend Allie taking this picture but when I saw this picture for the first time, I couldn't believe I had a smile.
When I look at this picture I see a very tired Mama, who is physically and emotionally drained, but spiritually, she is the strongest she has ever been.
"And the peace of God, which surpasses all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Jesus Christ."
"Strength and dignity are her clothing, and she laughs at the time to come."
"Death is swallowed up in victory, O death, where is your victory? O death, where is your sting? Thanks be to God, who gives us the victory through our Lord Jesus Christ."
1 Corinthians 15:54-57
"Jesus said to her, "I am the resurrection and the life. Whoever believes in me, though he die, yet shall he live, and everyone who lives and believes in me shall never die. Do you believe this?"
"He will wipe away every tear from their eyes, and death shall be no more, neither shall there be mourning, nor crying, nor pain anymore, for the former things have passed away."
Even though we have an overwhelming peace, we still miss Madison like crazy. I rejoice in knowing that Madison is no longer suffering. I long for the day when we are all reunited for eternity!
Oh, Jesus! Come quickly!