90 Days Closer to Heaven

Today marks 90 days that Madison has been in her eternal home.  Right now it feels like 90 years instead of days. 
I can't believe how much our lives have changed.  I think the hardest part has been adjusting to this new "normal".  My days with Madison were so structured.  She would wake up at around 8:30, drink a bottle, we would play until around 11:00, get our showers and get dressed, eat lunch, take a nap, drink another bottle, play some more, eat dinner, drink another bottle, and go to bed.  Everyday.  That was our routine. 
Missing our structure is just a small part.  I miss hearing her call for "Dane" aka Daddy.  I miss seeing the two of them together laughing and being silly.  I miss watching her praising our Savior.  I miss her calling me Abel.  I miss her being bossy.  I miss her singing.  I miss EVERYTHING about her and I ALWAYS will. 
For the most part, I feel like we are doing good.  With what we experienced in the hospital room, God has truly given us the peace that surpasses all understanding.  We have that peace in KNOWING that Madison is with Jesus and that she is fully restored and for that, we are able to smile. 
How can you not be happy when you know your loved one is in Heaven?
I remember when we found out that I was pregnant, I instantly began to pray for my child to come to Jesus.  I have always felt that a parent's biggest responsibility is leading their child to Christ. 
It has been my prayer from the very beginning of this journey that the Lord be glorified through it all.  I pray that through Madison's story, people will come to know Jesus. 
I shared Madison's homecoming story on this blog and over 10,000 people have read her story. 10,000 people! I have received numerous emails and Facebook messages of people who have been touched by her story. 
I have also received numerous messages of people wanting copies of her funeral service.  Her funeral service was not a sad occasion but a celebration of a precious life.  I truly did not want it to end.
After receiving the copy of her service on DVD I watched it 4 times in one day.  Some may not understand this and that is okay, hopefully one day you will, but watching her funeral service brings me a tremendous amount of joy.  It is a joy of anticipation, longing for the day that I will be able to stand beside her, worshipping our one true God!  Oh what a day that will be!!!!!